A quelle vitesse cette voiture peut-elle rouler?

One Last Peek

2008-01-01T03:54:56Z

I suppose I've been all right.

thanks for asking.

happy 2008 everyone.

Watching you watching us watching you die.

2006-11-20T21:11:52Z

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eUJ7WaHs3BM

Back in the USSA.

2006-05-10T02:07:59Z

Last night the spectre of the Queen Mum Floated above my bed. Her wrinkles glowing like Jesus fire and her thin bejeweled fingers reached out towards me. Her lips glowed like red embers and her voice whispered like a thousand armies on quick-time march as she utter this phrase: "Come back. You are one of us now!" I threw my pillow at the spectre and screamed that I was true to my flag as I cast about my room looking for something red white and blue to ward off the angry spirit. I took up my blue duvet and tore off my shirt revealing my pasty white skin then tore at my chest 'till blood issued from the scratches. "There!" I shouted, "there is my country!"... The Queen Mum was horrified. A shocked gasp emerged from her pursed lips like a million chavs stumbling on a shoe sale and left amid a cloud of smoke that reeked of tiny cucumber sandwiches. She returned only to tell my to wash the duvet immediately with soda water. And again to point out that the British flag was also red white and blue so I was being silly, and should really get a plaster for the scratch on my chest.

As I stood there clutching my chest and my duvet feeling cold and alone with a vague craving for tea, I began to weep. And I called out, I feel on my knees and begged her, begged her to take me back to biscuits and brunch, to Tubes and Topshop, to Parliament and plays, to Thames and Tesco, to royalty and Regents park, to Camden and Convent garden, to double-deckers and dignified ladies, to sandwich shops and snooker, to bowling and bangers, to pubs and parks, to goths and garage beats, to football and fresh-cut grass, to left-side driving and little frou frou dogs, to preening ponces and pre-packaged sandwiches, to cricket and kebabs, to rainy days and random haircuts, to indie music and indian food, to museums and marmite- actually, I fucking hate marmite, but I'd eat a whole jar to get back... But she was gone, and so is my dream of Europe. Of Edinburgh, of Brussels, of Madrid, of Gent, of Stratford Upon Avon, of Winchester, of Antwerp, and of course of London.

London. London, that great sprawl that encapsulates most of the culture in the world so it's neigh on impossible to feel out of place, and yet never totally in. It gives no answers, asks only questions and yet cradles you in it's arms and makes you feel loved, loved by a city and by its' people. I love London, and one may find that weird, but I do. It may have its' yobs and its' chavs and its' rip off artists, but at no point, if you ever really needed it, would these people not help you. Londoners understand the social democratic compact acutely, that helping everyone benefits everyone. Socialized healthcare is just the most obvious tip of the ice burg, but there's an underlying current of care that keeps London afloat as an organism. If New York is held together by negative energy then London is by positive. Like two magnets turned the same pole the energy keeps new York supported, yet isolated; creative but not close. London has positive energy: everything is drawn close together into tiny roman streets that mix and meld like subatomic particles. Yet the paradox to London is that it is clearly separated by section: ones area code clearly defines where one lives and what type of neighborhood just as ones accent used to.

I woke up this morning at 5:30 my body clearly believed it was about time. My mind trying to figure out which one of my myriad of clocks was correct: my watch set to GMT, my alarm clock still on daylight savings, my laptop set to... Iceland?, my ipod set to Brussels. I finally settled upon my verizon cell phone which was automatically set by the local tower. 0530. I usually keep my watch set to my old time so I can quickly check what time I think it is and figure out why I'm hungry or tired at a particular time. But the time made me nostalgic. I wished myself back in my little slice of independence, where I am exotic, I liked be exotic. I want to give that to my kids raise them in Europe and then unleash them upon the US to shock and dazzle the slack jawed fat Americans with Marlboro Lites hanging over their warm beers greasy from resting on ketchup stained NASCAR tee shirts with salt lines around the armpits dried up like their manhood which rests shamefully in a puddle of beer slowly soaking into their 3 day old boxers stretched to the limit of designer specifications and the laws of physics by the funyun sale at Costco... But my kids will bring the culture, bring the sophistication, the language, the history, even an accent. They will be kings among intellectual peasantry. And I'm talking good kings, with power and the wisdom to not have to use it.

But that's all in the future, and hopefully I'll have gotten back by then.

For now I'll live in the past.

Endings/travelings

2006-04-25T11:21:57Z

SO my programme is over and now I have two weeks on my own to travel or whatnot.

So here's the travel:

Monday: Leave Lond on MegaCoach at 2300 arrive next day at 8:25am Edinburgh (12.60 GBP)
Tuesday and Wenesday: in Hostel in Edinburg (20.00 GBP)
Thursday: Train from Edinburg to Glasgow Leave 0700 arrive Prestwik Intl Airport 0919 (12.00 GBP)
1155 flight to Brussels arrive 1430 local (12.99 GBP)
Friday, Saturday, Sunday in Belgium with godparents.
Sunday: Flight from Eindhoven to Stanstead Leaves 1925 arrives 1930 local (19.99 GBP)
Sunday night in Hostel (10.00 GBP) .
Monday: Pick up bags from centre travel to Heathrow for 1635 Flight to Boston Logan arrving at 18:40 local.

Total Cost 87.58 GBP (156.38 USD)

Still trying to figure out the whatnot...

Cheerios to all

Keep a stiff upper lip boy

2006-04-03T01:47:14Z

To do:
Figure out my classes.
Figure out where I'm living this summer.
Figure out where I'm living next semester.
Figure out my job for this summer.
Figure out where I'm taking classes this summer.
Figure out if I want to travel this summer.
Figure out an internship.
Figure out what I'm going to do when the program ends on the 21st of april.
Figure out what I'm going to do with all this crap.
Figure out why I feel down.

London has been a swirling vortex that's taken my money and my time, but given me one helluva ride in exchange. The wealth of experiences I've had here is enormous. Every day is chockablock full of stimuli. From seeing the way that people dress and act on the tube, to trying to blend into the crowd and pass myself off. Sometimes when I'm all alone in the city (which is most times) I feel like an agent of SAG or some shite: My dress, my speech, my habit, even the music I listen to all makes me feel like I'm one of the Londoners... BUT I"M NOT! dun dun dun. Little do they know they have a Yank in their midist... I always think back to how James Bond would pass himself off as a russian, and when they ask him where he learned to speak english so well he would say "Oxford." Now if only I had a PPK. So yeah that feels great, been walking EVERYWHERE which kinda makes me miss my car, being master of my vehicular destiny is a distinctly LA attitude. Hardly anyone drives because of the huge toll for driving into central london ($14) and so the tube is packed with everyone. Also cabs are wicked expensive so hardly anyone takes them. So it's a great socializer: everyone has to take it or not get there.
Wonderful.
The bad? I have no money left NONE of the money that oxy gave me remains.
Of course I should mention that that money was meant for only transportation and food.
When in actuality it paid for: beer, trips (madrid and belgium), clothes, more beer, clubs, tobacco, stationary, gifts, and various and sundry items oxy would NEVER have approved of. But I've lived, by GODs have I enjoyed spending every penny of your tuition (come on it's not like I could give it BACK). and now I'm paying out of pocket so really it'll even out in the end.
Other bad?
Still just not working out with these people. I want to socialize to chat to hang out to enjoy our time together here, but it seems that people just do not share that impulse. Over the last month I've been turned down on many offers, downright avoided, complained about, made fun of. I've said this a thousand times but I just can't shake the feeling that I'm back in 5th grade... I HATED 5th grade (it was my one year with glasses, but not cool emo ones like Jueyoungs, awful round ones that made me look like an insect wearing glasses which even the stink beetles wouldn't hangout with, loser). Yeah so I just feel lonely a lot and spend a grosteque amount of time on the computer for someone supposed to be enjoying the london life. Ah me! I suppose this was supposed to be the time to get out of my shell, hey? Time to be all forward going and extroverted, and hell I tried. I kept reminding myself to "think like an Italian!: be out there friendly agressively and a leader. And it just didn't work, it's not me. I guess there's gotta be that one awkward kid at the back right? otherwise there'd be no cool kids. oh well I suppose I'm a viable part of the socioecosystem that is LDA; even if I am just a prey animal... like a bunny... except people like bunnies... so maybe a skunk... except people don't fuck with skunks... nevermind.
well soon it'll be over, I think I've learned more because I haven't had a easy time. I may not have the crazy wild europarty stories but I know 20 different places to buy books in london! yeah! let's here it for the losers!
I need a beer.
-jad

yeah

2006-03-05T00:45:50Z

w00t I'm writing in my livejournal because I got left here at the flats. I was all "yeah! I'll got out with ya'll," went to go get my jacket and by the time I get back everyones gone. Feels great.
So now I'm drunk and writing here.
London is GREAT, I really am getting the cities geography in my head. At first it was hard since it has a feeling simliar to New York but NO GRID. London is the Antichrist of the Grid System: most of the city grew up around what are called "circuses" (ie picadilly circus, oxford circus) which were areas of land given to aristocracy to develop as they pleased, and they each developed as suited their fancy and therefore London is a mishmash. But WHAT a mishmash. I've had a lot of fun walking aimless around the city enjoying the sights and the overall feelings from the the place. Its allowed a lot of introspection. The reason for the ability for the mind to be so introspective is that the senses are so overwhelmed by totally new information that the mind just gives up and allowed it' self to wander... that's one idea.

I wish I could explain the social situation I am in. Suffice it to say it stinks. I know if someone form the program read that they would laugh and they would make a comment to the other members of the group, which would enhance their stature in the group. It feels crappy to talk to someone and wonder if they're talking about you later on that day, it makes it very hard to trust your own conversation. and when you can trust a single word that comes out of your mouth, you tend to be very quiet, I am quieter ad quieter by the day here.

But I love London, the city people are mostly gorgeous and so put together and I envy them: so smart of well put together and all around a good person. I want to slip away into the culture. I can really imagine living here and working and raising children here.... well that's a vision at least.
Yeah that's about that,

I miss LA and everone there

Whatever and ever amen.

2006-03-01T22:09:25Z

Sooooo Britain.
Yeah.

So far these few months I've seen plays (about 10) the highlights have been "Whose Afraid of Virginia Wolf" and "Measure for Measure" which featured the Indian guy from office space . I also got to meet Honor Blackman who played Pussy Galore in Goldfinger and Emma Peel in the original Avengers TV show. Which was cool, lotsa stories about Shaun Connery etc etc.

As for classes I'm learning a lot about myself, which, as you can imagine is as boring as fuck at times.
Also learning SWORDFIGHTING, which is awesome, taught by the guy who did the fights for Troy.

As for people: meh I've made only few friends and I'm ignored at best by most of the "established groups." Eh. Part of it is my personality not being sparkling enough and part just being no proactive enough socially. I just don't fit in here it seems.
But I went out with some locals and really enjoyed my time with them. Also I've gotten back in touch with my Godfamily when I went to Belgium... oh yeah I went to Belgium, it was awesome.

I like London, it's beautiful, expensive, clean... she'd make a nice girlfriend if she wasn't so damn cold and withholding. But she does make a damn fine sandwich. Yes Brit cuisine is sandwich HEAVY, I don't think there's anything that they WON"T put between bread here.

Overall I feel dissatisfied with my current situation, I guess I read that everyone else is having an amazing time on their abroad study and I feel that there must be something wrong with me that I'm not having life changing experiences. Oh well, at least I have... sandwiches?

Leaving

2006-01-11T23:57:19Z

I'm leaving for London in a matter of hours.

Check joeldrake.blogspot.com for London updates.

Cheers!

-JAD

thebookofjoel @ 2006-01-01T00:15:00

2006-01-01T05:16:47Z

Fuck you 2005...

If that's the way it is then that's the way it is...

2005-12-27T18:57:15Z

I get nostalgic now whenever I'm home.
I feel so far removed from last year, like I was totally different then.
Well I was and I wasn't.
I was definitely more unaware, but was I happier? I cannot remember.
I keep wishing I could write a song to embody what I'm feeling, so that I could play it and communicate more eloquently what I'm trying to say. Here's what I'm trying to say:

I'm so annoyed at myself for what I've done this year, I'm not proud of many decisions I've made.
Yet with all that I've messed up things have somehow worked out for me, why?
Sometimes I think the only reason that something goes right in my life, it is only to frustrate other people.
Like the devil or god is using me as a tool to make people feel bad that they aren't going to London.
Which I can only reply by throwing up my hands and saying "Sorry! I did everything I could to fuck up my life and it still worked out! Sorry!" ...which might just make them feel worse anyways.

I really feel apologetic for my life, survivors guilt you might call it: I'm sorry I'm a 20 something middle class, overweight, (soon to be) college educated, white male. The ultimate middle of the road demographic, the target of every Lexus commercial. I'm sorry that I have an iPod, a car, an extensive collection of dress shirts, two computers, a $300 cell phone and guitar which I can't play. I'M SORRY! Jesus Christ I'm sorry that I have a trust fund and pretty much guaranteed finical security for the rest of my life should I choose to fall back on my parents. I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry!
WHY?
I do not know.

Now that I've ranted it out, lethargy takes over. I feel sedated, bored, frustrated; like I just had really bad sex. So annoying a person is I. To myself, to others I'm sure, again I'm sorry, really.
Oh god I have whiney posts like this.
nuff said, I'm going shopping already, fill up this emptiness with pants... Gap pants... mmm prewashed.

sorry.

thebookofjoel @ 2005-12-13T17:36:00

2005-12-14T01:38:40Z

I wish all ID checks were as rigorous as the ones at the library.
Then, the next time I get pulled over I can just smile real big and say "Hey there!"
And the officer would know, that I'm me.

What can I say?

2005-12-07T04:21:21Z

I feel awful.
I wish I could go back in time a hundred times over.
It's not even nostalgia or a desire to change mistakes.
I just want it all again, the first time wasn't enough.
OK maybe I wouldn't have said that, or done that other thing, and maybe I could have exercised more. And maybe I could have been more crazy in high school. Maybe I could have held that one longer and let that one go sooner. Maybe I should have taken chemistry and gotten better at spanish.
Maybe I could've changed it all.
...but I'd prolly fuck it all up again.

In preparation for my abroad trip I'm scattering my belongings over the 4 corners of the earth or ferreting them away just like the squirrels do this time of year. (cut to shot of Joel digging a hole behind Wylie and burying his TV, appalled squirrels look on). Much like the squirrels I'll forget where I put 10% of it all and it'll go to see elsewhere. (cut to: TV growing in back of wylie, students prance around in joy.)

So I'll be back in Massachusetts as of Dec the 17th so contact me I'll buy you a beer or 10.

hallah at yer boy

thebookofjoel @ 2005-10-25T12:42:00

2005-10-25T19:44:11Z

I once knew a girl
In the years of my youth
With eyes like the summer
All beauty and truth
In the morning I fled
Left a note and it read
Someday you will be loved.

You'll be loved you'll be loved
Like you never have known
The memories of me
Will seem more like bad dreams
Just a series of blurs
Like I never occurred
Someday you will be loved

You may feel alone when you're falling asleep
And everytime tears roll down your cheeks
But I know your heart belongs to someone you've yet to meet
Someday you will be loved

You'll be loved you'll be loved
Like you never have known
The memories of me
Will seem more like bad dreams
Just a series of blurs
Like I never occurred
Someday you will be loved

-Death Cab for Cutie

thebookofjoel @ 2005-10-12T20:55:00

2005-10-13T03:57:28Z

Note: Due to the fact that I am going to England next semester, Jason, all your stabbings are recinded.

what what what?

2005-10-09T00:57:34Z

SO

after mulling it over for a half a year Occidental College has decided to let me go abroad NEXT SEMESTER!!

Weird thing though: I took myself off the waitlist in April.

WHAT?

OK so I'm going to London Dramatic Academy next semester what?

I know you've always wanted to seach it...

2005-08-13T03:34:20Z

Search my wang... go on...

Disco Fever...

2005-08-08T07:02:40Z

Oh man. What. a. Couple of days...
First I get sick on Thursday with something mysterious, dark, and possibly life threatening...
Well maybe just social life threatening.

Convinced I was initially that the flu it was. Alas nothing so simple as that. Then as I lay there harkening back to senior of high school I remember the terrible infection that spread from my throat to the rest of my body! Oh yeah! Nearly killed me! FUN!

So I enlisted my ever so kind housemate Alexis to take me to the Pasadena Emergency Care Clinic.
Where predictably they told me that it was "just something going around."
Which is the medical term for "whatever."

So the Doc- sorry Doctor's ASSITANT decided that a liter of saline solution would help my dehydration as well as a shot of painkiller and anti-nausea drugs.
For those of you who have never know the joy of a saline drip or any drip besides that of your local Starbucks, let me describle the joy that one experiences watching fluid drip drop by drop into your veins.

First off a bag is 1 liter... that's almost 34 ounces... that's almost 3 cans of coke... filled with salt water.
Yeech.
So they slip the needle- actually needle is too kind a word, let's say "nozzle"- so they slip the nozzle into my vein and star letting it drip in. And for your viewing pleasure they've provided a handy display area where you can watch the solution drip in... And watch you will because there's damn sure not anything else to do but look at that steady fluid and ask yourself "Is this healthy?" "Doesn't salt water dehydrate you?" "No wait our bodies are 68% salt water or something like that." "That last thought wasn't really a question was it?" "I wonder if my neighbor will be made that I puked on his minivan?"

The most interested part of the drip by far was the surely unorthodox or at least non-kosher use of the blood pressure test (you know the puffy thing they put around your arm that's like an evil version of water wings) when the bag was nearing it's end and losing momentum. Yes my friends they did indeed place said blood tester and use it to squeeze it most quickly and efficiently into my already swollen arm. . This probably due to the fact that I was the last patient of the day and everyone wanted to get soused before going home. "Don't worry," said the DA (doctors assistant) "Sometimes we give a whole bag to a patient in 5 minutes!" he seemed quite proud as if this was his own invention which would not have surprised me. "Sometimes we do two at once!" great just give me all my meals this way...

So in answer to how it feels to be on a saline drip I would say that I feels like watching grass grow... or I should say like grass being watered with an Lilliputian turkey baster...

After a few hours I stumble back out into the nouvelle riche Pasadena air clutching an overpriced prescription for antibiotics and anti nausea drugs, to find that my housemate had left to go to a salsa concert and get boba tea. After I recovered we sped off to try and fill said prescription... alas no one get's sick after 10pm in Los Angeles therefore no pharmacy was available...

Anyways the rest is rather dull and involves more vomiting and most of the book "Seabiscuit" which makes for some weird ass fever dreams. I'm mostly better now though, thanks to antibiotics!! Hopefully I won't have an allergic reaction like I did to the last antibiotics I took (read: hives...everywhere).

Fer now I'm off to bed...

thebookofjoel @ 2005-07-10T09:31:00

2005-07-10T16:34:01Z

Danny Way Jumps over Great Wall of China

In other news: China has a ministry of extreme sports and culture.

thebookofjoel @ 2005-07-05T17:41:00

2005-07-06T00:43:42Z

Lamest Thing...ever

thebookofjoel @ 2005-07-05T11:37:00

2005-07-05T18:39:32Z

Oh my God "On The Waterfront" is fucking amazing movie.
It's a great reality check for any actor who thinks they have talent, and anyone who thinks that we are in anyway close to the quality of movies that used to be made.
And though often parodied and mocked this line is absolutely heart wrenching in the movie:

Charlie: Look, kid, I - how much you weigh, son? When you weighed one hundred and sixty-eight pounds you were beautiful. You coulda been another Billy Conn, and that skunk we got you for a manager, he brought you along too fast.
Terry: It wasn't him, Charley, it was you. Remember that night in the Garden you came down to my dressing room and you said, "Kid, this ain't your night. We're going for the price on Wilson." You remember that? "This ain't your night"! My night! I coulda taken Wilson apart! So what happens? He gets the title shot outdoors on the ballpark and what do I get? A one-way ticket to Palooka-ville! You was my brother, Charley, you shoulda looked out for me a little bit. You shoulda taken care of me just a little bit so I wouldn't have to take them dives for the short-end money.
Charlie: Oh I had some bets down for you. You saw some money.
Terry: You don't understand. I coulda had class. I coulda been a contender. I coulda been somebody, instead of a bum, which is what I am, let's face it. It was you, Charlie.

I coulda been a contender...

2005-07-03T06:18:31Z

I went surfing for the first time (SHA!). My nipples are SO sore from swimming around on the board. I didn't manage to catch anything but from seconds on end I looked pretty cool sitting there on the board, before I fell off and looked like a total doof. I've decided I need to buy my own board though because I need more excuse to go the beach and also I need something to top off my NEW CAR WHOA.
That's right after a two year break I'm back in the saddle again.

I'm the proud owner of a 1991 Toyota Celica ST.
ICE BLEU
SO HAWT.
ALL MANUAL
FLIP UP LIGHTS
103HP
102 ft-lbs of torque
1.6 liters

...ok so besides that I'm totally brokenhearted and lonely.

Cheers.

Moral Test (email from mon uncle)

2005-06-29T15:19:25Z

This test only has one question, but it's a very important one. By giving an honest answer, you will discover where you stand morally. No one else will know, so you wont be fooling anyone but yourself if you if you give anything but a truthful answer.
The test features an unlikely, completely fictional situation in which you will have to make a decision.
Remember that your answer needs to be honest, yet spontaneous.
Please read slowly and thoughtfully, giving due consideration to each line.
Here's the situation:
You are in Florida; Miami to be specific. There is chaos all around you caused by a hurricane with severe flooding. This is a flood of biblical proportions. You are a photojournalist working for a major newspaper, and you're caught in the middle of this epic disaster.
The situation is nearly hopeless. You're trying to shoot career-making photos. There are houses and people swirling around you, some disappearing under the water. Nature is unleashing all of its destructive fury.
Suddenly you see a man floundering in the water. He is fighting for his life, trying not to be taken down with the debris. You move closer...somehow the man looks familiar. You suddenly realize who it is.
It's George W. Bush, President of the United States!!
At the same time you notice that the raging waters are about to take him under...forever. You have two options-you can save the life of G. W. Bush, or you can shoot a dramatic Pulitzer Prize winning photo, documenting the death of one of the world's most powerful men.
So here's the question, and please give an honest answer:
Would you select high contrast color film, or would you go with the classic simplicity of black and white?

thebookofjoel @ 2005-06-15T00:54:00

2005-06-15T07:56:17Z

tonight I watched napolean dynomite and a tiny black and white kitten fell asleep on my chest...that was the happiest I've been for awhile.

You Think You Know ( and you probably right).

2005-06-10T06:47:12Z

Just a few things.
Forgot to mention this but I made the switch to mac: I'm now the proud owner of a bouncing baby Mac Mini and a 17" monitor, if anyone wants to send me an extra 512MB of ram, an Airport Extreme card, or a printer as a baby shower gift...that be nice.

Also I'm currently on the prowl for a new car, I've somehow survived two years in LA without one. And in my search I've discovered that LA is full of lying bastards who roll back their odometers and lie openly about the conditions of their cars. It's also full of idiots will to pay too much for said cars.

Also my school is getting this saw billed as the "World's Safest Table Saw." Why's it so safe? you may query just watch this informitive video...crazy eh? there's going to be a lot of hot dogs wasted when it comes!!

So until next week...email me. EMAIL ME!
-JAD

You will be missed.

2005-06-06T08:09:41Z

I miss Boston.
I miss my '88 Camry.
I miss my family.
I miss my stupid Shih Tzu.
I miss my backyard.
I miss the T.
I miss Cape Cod.
I miss my boat.
I miss "my" beach.
I miss barefeet on sand.

What the fuck am I doing in LA?

...I'll tell you what the fuck I'm doing, I'm working everyday making money, I'm searching for a car, and I'm interning at Popular Arts Entertainment which is awesome to see the inside of the biz.
I'm also going into therapy.
I'm also pining over the past.
I'm also lonely...very lonely.

I miss my old life...